10 Tips for Separated Parents

Divorce is one of the top five most stressful life events that people go through. Not only is it a stressful matter to endure, but the fallout continues when you try to handle your parenting matters apart from your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

You can make this entire process easier by making good decisions during the separation period.

These tips will help you manage your separation as parents so that you can divorce in peace while also coming up with long-term strategies for raising your kids.

1. Look at Each Other as Parents First

When you split from your spouse, you might have some grudges and resentment that you hold against them. It might take some time to heal and get over these issues.

Keep in mind the importance of your child having an involved mother or father, and look at them as a parent first. Having this level of grace and understanding will prevent you from holding things against them and will make communication for parenting decisions much easier while raising children.

2. Resolve to Have a Peaceful Divorce

Make sure that you also prioritize peace during the divorce process. Divorce is stressful on its own, and turning it into a battle makes it even more stressful than it has to be.

Compromise with your spouse and make it a cooperative divorce process.

3. Speak to a Family Mediator

Don’t wait to get the help of a professional that can help smooth things out for you and your spouse during your separation and divorce proceedings.

Get the help of a professional mediator that can help you communicate and create workable compromises. Leading with a mediator rather than a lawyer is important because a mediator is impartial and works for both of you.

4. Have Honest Conversations With Your Children

Prioritize your kids above all during this process. Open the floor for them to discuss how they feel about the divorce process. Listen without trying too hard to shape their perspective while reassuring them that this doesn’t change how both parents feel about them.

Become intentional about checking in with your child and discussing things with them so that this link remains strong once you’re raising them in two households.

5. Come Up With Parenting Strategies

The most important thing you can do during the process of divorce with children is create parenting strategies that you both can stick to. Consider everything from the child’s education, extracurricular activities, religion, friendship, and other details. Communicate with each other every step of the way, and formalize your parenting strategies as much as possible.

Having an ironclad parenting plan takes the ambiguity out of the situation and lets you both know how you contribute.

6. Set Your Home Up With Kids in Mind

Regardless of the custody arrangement, you need to make sure that your home is set up with kids in mind. Both parents should do their best to give their kids their own bedroom and areas where they can play, do their homework, and live life as a kid without a significant drop-off in either home.

It’ll be easier to have your time with your kids when the environment is set up for it.

7. Get Therapy and Healing

During the separation, make sure that you are also taking care of yourself. Divorce can take a psychological and emotional toll for many years to come. The best way through this is by seeking the help of a licensed therapist.

Book an appointment to talk to a therapist once a week for the foreseeable future. This is a safe place to unpack all aspects of the divorce and how you feel about it so that you can move forward and be the best individual and parent you can be.

Practice other forms of self-care as well to help with the healing process. Regularly exercising, eating clean foods, and taking care of yourself can help you more than anything else.

8. Document Things Regularly

Operate with your spouse in good faith, always give them a chance, and do your best to see their point of view. However, make sure that you’re also documenting aspects of your parental arrangement in case there are ever court matters that need to be hashed out.

It’s best to document these things as you go so that you’re not scrambling for evidence when you need it.

9. Handle Your Legal Matters

Your separation will also be more peaceful when you know that you’re properly handling your legal matters. Hire a family attorney that can answer all of your questions and lay the groundwork for your strategies.

From there, you can move forward with intention and handle business one step at a time.

10. Recognize That Things Aren’t Always Exactly 50/50

Adjust your definition of fairness as it pertains to raising your child in two different households. With separated families, fairness should involve what’s best for the child while also allowing both parents to contribute and get the time that they need and deserve.

However, life happens, and there will never be a precise 50/50 split with everything. Strive to be respectful and fair, speak your mind, and find workable solutions every step of the way.

Do What’s Best for Your Family

Parents going through a divorce need to use some strategies that will help them keep their families together.

2houses can help you when you’re trying to come up with parenting tips and strategies that will help you raise your family peacefully and productively. Contact us online